#92 - It's You! It's Me!

and there's dancing!

This little gem comes via one of my father's luntaic friends:



And, since we are already talking about dancing, you should probably watch some Beyonce (at 00:52 she tries to hypnotize the audience with her thighs, and it works):



Also, watch the Frug (the dance):



And listen to The Frug (the song):

# 91 - So The Story Goes

balance we won't know
we will see when it gets warm

#90 - Clair Presents:

A Conversation with her Father

Setting: the TV room. Tim is lying on the couch with a pile of blankets and a pile of Halls wrappers, occasionally coughing a really gross-sounding cough


Clair: What are you watching?

Tim: Top Gun and Just for Laughs. Top Gun is my favourite.

Clair: Of those two?

Tim: Of almost everything. "They're on our tail, they're on our tail! Take a shot, take a shot!"

cough cough cough

#89 - See Ya Later, Sinners

"Bye Jesus."

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

#88 - LIST FRIDAY, Winter Boots Edition

Either/Ors

• Gloves or mittens: mittens
• Cats or dogs: cats
• Bob or Neil: Bob
• Peel stickers or stamp bags: peel stickers
• Loud or quiet: loud
• Wake up or sleep: sleep
• Boots or sneakers: boots
• Words or pictures: words
• Poetry or prose: prose
• Tea or coffee: tea
• Peppermint or chamomile: peppermint
• Peppermint or spearmint: peppermint
• Drive or take the bus: take the bus
• Read or listen to: listen to
• Kristen Stewart or Jamie Bell: this is a trick question, they are the same person

#87 - Struck Brightly By The Winter

when the snow falls thick and silent

Today I was struck by the holiday spirit. I am now officially excited for the 2008 Christmas season. Here are some reasons why:

1. The snow! It snowed like crazy this afternoon. The day started out all grey and blustery and ended up all white and wintery and lovely.

2. I went to Buy the Book and had hot chocolate. It is obviously not too far into the Christmas season, though, or I would've been offered booze.

3. I finally handed in my art history paper. It is impossible to be filled with holiday cheer when one is preoccupied with thoughts of Emil Nolde and German Expressionism and versus woodcuts etc.

4. I have Christmas-ified* the colour scheme.

5. I spent two hours in Paper Umbrella working on the window display and talking to Theresa about gift wrap and cookie baking and whole chickens and book binding.

6. I know I mentioned the snow but I have to say it again. SNOW!




In non-Christmas related good news: last night there was a crazy and awful and amazing travel-into-the-past episode of One Tree Hill that Chad Michael Murry wrote. Honestly, what could possibly be better than that? Nothing. Nothing could. That is the best.


*My computer's spell checker is trying to tell me that Christmas-ified is not a word. How absurd.**















**Rhyme!

#86 - She Said My Name's Neal Schon

but some people call me Nina Simone.

Essay writing again tonight. Special thanks to Bon Iver, Basia Bulat, The Hold Steady, Born Ruffians, Coca-Cola, peppermint tea, warm socks, the green foot stool, and Kenzie's blog for keeping my spirits (and energy levels) up. Also, thank you to Mordecai Richler. After two semesters of epic Greek poetry and seventeenth century sonnets it is so nice to be writing about prose again.


EDIT: I am thinking of calling my essay "It Wasn't His Fault: How Duddy Kravitz's Family Screwed Him Over". Is that sufficiently scholarly, do you think? Should I take out the contraction?

#85 - Ophelia Had Two Cars

She's driving away in one of them.

I am going to be up so late tonight and so early tomorrow to finish this Andrew Marvell paper. All I can say is thank God for I'm From Barcelona, Rilo Kiley and Belle and Sebastian. My "stay awake and cheerful music".

I am about half done right now, but I was also half done at five o'clock. I completely started over at around eight.


P.S. If I hadn't used Ophelia as the title of this post I would have used "Rufus The Giant Silver Labrador/is standing in my hall/Rufus Rufus Labrador/ten feet tall "

#84 - Had We But World Enough, and Time,

This coyness, lady, were no crime.
We would sit down and think which way
To walk, and pass our long love's day;
Thou by the Indian Ganges' side
Shouldst rubies find; I by the tide
Of Humber would complain. I would
Love you ten years before the Flood;
And you should, if you please, refuse
Till the conversion of the Jews.
My vegetable love should grow
Vaster than empires, and more slow.
An hundred years should go to praise
Thine eyes, and on thy forehead gaze;
Two hundred to adore each breast,
But thirty thousand to the rest;
An age at least to every part,
And the last age should show your heart.
For, lady, you deserve this state,
Nor would I love at lower rate.

But at my back I always hear
Time's winged chariot hurrying near;
And yonder all before us lie
Deserts of vast eternity.
Thy beauty shall no more be found,
Nor, in thy marble vault, shall sound
My echoing song; then worms shall try
That long preserv'd virginity,
And your quaint honour turn to dust,
And into ashes all my lust.
The grave's a fine and private place,
But none I think do there embrace.

Now therefore, while the youthful hue
Sits on thy skin like morning dew,
And while thy willing soul transpires
At every pore with instant fires,
Now let us sport us while we may;
And now, like am'rous birds of prey,
Rather at once our time devour,
Than languish in his slow-chapp'd power.
Let us roll all our strength, and all
Our sweetness, up into one ball;
And tear our pleasures with rough strife
Thorough the iron gates of life.
Thus, though we cannot make our sun
Stand still, yet we will make him run.



Love poem, poem of seduction, or both? Thoughts? Anyone? Bueller?

#83 - LIST FRIDAY, Yesterday Edition

Things I Did Yesterday

• Yesterday I didn't skip any of my classes
• Yesterday I started work on the two English essays that are due soon
• Yesterday I had a headache until I went out for a walk
• Yesterday I read "Paradise Lost" out loud
• Yesterday I gave blood
• Yesterday I was a little bit offended when the nurse asked me if I had ever taken drugs or money in exchange for sex, even though it was a routine question
• Yesterday I forgot I had given blood and did heavy lifting, which made me dizzy
• Yesterday I fell asleep in the lab building while I was reading Looking for Alaska
• Yesterday the bus came exactly when I wanted it to
• Yesterday the bus came too early and I missed it
• Yesterday I deleted all the songs off of my iPod so I can replace them with new ones
  

#82 - I Like The Starbucks Here...

...that's better then the other one
'cause the other one's not as good


The Dome of the Rock* playlist

• The Bitter End - Placebo
• Full of Grace - Sarah McLachlan
• Freezepop Forever - Freezepop
• Rainy Streets - Superchunk
• Range Life - Pavement
• Monday Monday Monday - Tegan and Sara
• I Will Dare - The Replacements
• Jarhand - Immaculate Machine
• Me & The Major - Belle and Sebastian
• Girlfriend in a Coma - The Smiths
• Heimdalsgate Like a Promethean Curse - Of Montreal
• Wellington's Wednesdays - The Weakerthans
• Casino Queen - Wilco
• Take a Bow - Rihanna
• Little Waltz - Basia Bulat
• The Cheapest Key - Kathleen Edwards
• Uncovering the Old - Dr. Dog
• Never Believe - Elf Power
• Stevie Nix - The Hold Steady
• Beautiful - Meshell Ndegeocello
• One for the Cutters - The Hold Steady
• Golden Age of Radio - Josh Ritter
• Ultimatum - The Long Winters
• Shop Vac - Jonothan Coulton
• Stakeout (Donnerschlag remix) - Freezepop
• I Am A Scientist - The Dandy Warhols
• Breathe In - Frou Frou
• Five Star Day - Aqueduct
  

*The Dome of the Rock is the oldest standing Muslim structure (at least I hope so, becase that is what I wrote on my test today). It is a dome that covers a rock (shocking, I know) that Muslims believe it is the place from which Muhammad ascended to heave*, Christians think is the place where God create Adam, and Jews think is where Abraham went to sacrifice Issac. Religion is kind of crazy.


*see comments

#81 - C'mon Mood Shift

shift back to good again

Alternately this post could be titled: Argh! Art History! Argh!

So, guess what I did today? I skipped English and spent most of this morning and all of this afternoon re-writing my art history notes on loose leaf. And then I spent all of this evening typing out my re-written notes. And I still feel like a know almost nothing about the history of art. How is that possible, you ask? I am not sure, but I am pretty sure it has something to do with the astounding number of dates there are to memorize. If it weren't for the dates I would be fine. Well, the dates and the fact that apparently all Greek dudes who got sculptures made of them looked exactly the same.

On the brightside, after tomorrow I don't have to worry about another art history test until finals, and I made a really good study playlist called "The Dome of the Rock".

#80 - I Was Never That Good

...at being nice when I should

Today I was in the mall having lunch with Jamie when I overheard the following conversation:

Teenage Boy with Unfortunate Facial Hair: No way is Adam Sander funnier than Will Ferrel!

Friend who is Eating a Taco: He is! Happy Gilmore...

T.B.w.U.F.H.: Happy Gilmore is for bitches! Now, Anchorman... Anchorman like opened up my world.*

(at which point F.w.i.E.a.T., soundly put in his place, fell silent)

*Emphasis his. I swear to God, the italics were practically audible.

#79 - You Eat Apples Right?

I produce Entourage.

I watched Saturday Night Live last night for the first time in a long time. Aside from Tina Fey's Palin impression (if you haven't seen any of those go watch one right now, the lack of exaggeration required to make Sarah Palin into a comedy sketch is almost alarming), this is the thing that made me laugh the hardest:

#78 - LIST FRIDAY, Lemonade Edition

Someday I will post a List Friday on an actual Friday, but that day is not today (because today is Sunday and there is nothing I can do about that).

Know what I stopped doing for a long time? Listening to albums all the way through. I always got fixated on just one or two songs and then forget about everything else. This summer I have been making an effort to stop doing this so much. Working at Buy the Book helped a lot, mostly because there is no computer there so it is a lot harder to switch from track to track.

Albums I Listened To All The Way Through This Summer (On A Regular Basis, I Mean)

• Oh, My Darling by Basia Bulat
• Golden Age of Radio and Hello Starling by Josh Ritter (actually, all Josh Ritter)
• Stay Positive by The Hold Steady
• LaDeDa by Joel Plaskett Emergency
• Putting the Days to Bed by The Long Winters
• Fables by Immaculate Machine
• Faces in the Rocks by Mariee Sioux
• Tallahassee by The Mountain Goats (I listened to this a lot, actually)
• Alligator by The National
• Reunion Tour by The Weakerthans
• Golden Delicious by Mike Doughty
• Volume One by She and Him

Also, since I have had nothing to drink but spicy lemonade for the past six days and I can still smell the delicious smell of cabbage rolls even though my dad cooked them six hours ago and I cannot stop thinking about food:

Things I Want to Learn to Cook

• pie crust
• chicken Parmesan
• pesto
• bread dough (for bread, but also for cinnamon buns)
• salmon cakes
• cheesecake
• antipasto
  

#77 - LIST FRIDAY, Swept Floor and Clean Sheets Edition

"...but, of course, it was universal for Brenda, more than that, cosmic--it made every cashmere sweater a battle with her mother, and her life, which, I was certain, consisted to a large part of cornering the market on fabrics that felt soft to the skin, took on the quality of a Hundred Years' War..."
-Philip Roth, Goodbye Columbus

Things That Are Making Me Happy Today

• the above quote
• a newly cleaned bedroom
• lime Italian soda that tastes a little bit like perfume (but in a good way)
• The Hold Steady on TSOYA
• Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip on DVD
• the fact that I get to go buy textbooks tomorrow
• pondering the age-old dilemma of looseleaf vs. notebooks

Movies Watched In The Past Two Weeks

• Fight Club
• Bright Young Things
• Dead and Breakfast
• I Capture the Castle
• Love Me If You Dare
• Made of Honor
• Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2

Books Read In The Past Two Weeks

• Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer
• The History of Love by Nicole Krauss
• The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks by E. Lockhart
• Salinger: A Biography by Paul Alexander
• Poseur by Rachel Maude
• The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro
• Goodbye Columbus by Philip Roth
  

#76 - LIST FRIDAY, Return Edition

I am going out of town (and away from the internet) for a few days, but before I go:

Songs I Would Sing In Karaoke, If I Could Sing Anything I Wanted

• Come A Long Way - Michelle Shocked
• King of Spain - Moxy Fruvous
• Won't Be Home - Old 97s
• Downtown - Petula Clark
• Omabolasire - Prozzak
• Phone Sex - Superchunk
• Puttin' On the Ritz - Taco
• Me and Mia - Ted Leo
• Handle With Care - Traveling Wilburys
• Plea from a Cat Named Virtue - Weakerthans
• Jesus etc. - Wilco
• Step Into My Office, Baby - Belle and Sebastian
• Come On Petunia - The Blow
• Combat Baby - Metric
  
• Two Fine People - Cat Stevens
• July, July! - The Decemberists
• Rangers - A Fine Frenzy
• Paper Bag - Fiona Apple
• Home By Saturday - Hayden
• Massive Nights - The Hold Steady
• Sometimes Always - Jesus and Mary Chain
• Good Man - Josh Ritter
• The Hard Way - Mary Chapin Carpenter

Je L'aime A Mourir

#75 - LIST FRIDAY, Travel Edition

Irrational Fears I Have About Going to Montreal for Five Weeks

• That I will get lost in the Winnipeg airport.
• That every single other person in the program will be exactly like the meanest, prettiest girl in my high school.
• That my roommate(s) will listen exclusively to classical music.
• That I won't have any time to read.
• That the internet connection will have some sort of issue that will prevent me from watching So You Think You Can Dance on Surf the Channel.
  
• That I will get lost on the first day of class.
• That I will get progressively worse at French, instead of better.

#74 - Your Love Is Like A Cyclone In A Swamp

...and the weather's getting warmer

Demetri Martin is funny and smart! This whole show is on YouTube.

#73 - LIST FRIDAY, Return Edition

Simple Pleasures

• falling asleep as soon as your head hits the pillow
• when TV shows make you cry
• putting on socks, shoes and long pants after supper at the cabin
• hearing a little kid say the word "hot"
• passing a level of Super Mario World on the first try
• staying inside playing Super Mario World and then emerging to discover that the entire world has turned green and spring-y
  
• watching Amanda attempt to canoe while drunk
• when people come visit me at work
• looking forward to things (such as upcoming concerts and trips)
  

Good Songs For Spring (even though some of them are kind of sad and/or angry sounding)

• A Kick in the Teeth by Fischerspooner
• Streets on Fire by Lupe Fiasco
• Sometimes Always by Jesus and Mary Chain (thanks Kenzie!)
  
• Paper Planes remix by MIA feat. Bun B and Rich Boy
• Snakes and Ladders by Basia Bulat
• Harrisburg by Josh Ritter
• See America Right and No Children by The Mountain Goats (John Darnielle kind of scares me, but in a good way)
• Second Minute or Hour by Jack Penate
• Ultimatum by The Long Winters
• I Just Want the Girl in the Blue Dress to Keep On Dancing by Mike Doughty
  

Savory:

(Brit: savoury)
adjective
belonging to the category that is salty or spicy rather than sweet.

#72 - You Have Woke Up To Soon

...and the world is rearranged


I had such a fun birthday party tonight!! I played pool! I did karaoke! I drank a lot! Is drank a word? Whatever.

#71 - I Like It In The City

when the air is so thick, and opaque

NUMBERWANG!! Watch the first one first, but the second one is better.

#70 - It's Been Awhile How You've Come Back In Style

singing hey na ne na na na na.

Wouldn't it be funny if from now on whenever I used lyrics for titles they were nonsense words? I think it would. I lot of songs that I like have nonsense, too, so it's completely plausible.

It is birthday season here in Saskatchewan. Everyone is having a birthday right now, it feels like. People keep asking me what I want and I can never think what to tell them, but I will make a list anyway*.

Birthday Wishlist

• typewriter
• haircut
• Feist ticket
• a darkroom in my basement
  
• a glass pen from Paper Pmbrella
• vellum, also from Paper Umbrella
• money
  
• books
• a clarinet instructional book
• a shoe rack
• a plane ticket to Montreal
  
• art books
• a really nice messenger bag made of some form of natural fibres for school/Quebec
• a repair for my sewing machine
  

*There have been no List Fridays in a couple weeks. They are on hiatus. Maybe after finals are done and I am into the swing of summer they'll come back. But also, I might be posting more because I won't bother saving things to be put into list form.

#69 - Na-Na-Nanana

ah-aaa, ah-aaa

Bonus points if you can guess what song that is.

Today is an excellent day, here is why:

• I finally e-mailed my English prof my final essay of the semester
• I went out for coffee with Number One
• After sending my essay I got to go for a bike ride (first one of the year!) in a t-shirt, because that's how nice it is outside today
• Right now I am watching "In the Land of Women", which is not really a good movie, but I still kind of enjoy it. I really like Kristen Stewart, even though she is kind of irritating and disturbingly thin.
• After this I get to do absolutely nothing for the rest of the day. Lovely.
  

#68 - I Am Officially Bored Now...

... I have a certificate.

Does no one love Garfield w/o Garfield as much as me? No one??

#67 - Sukie Was A Kid, She Liked To Hang Out At The Art School

She didn't enroll, but she wiped the floor with all the arseholes
She took a bijou flat with the fraternity cat
She hid inside the attic of the sculpture building
She had a slut slave and his name was Dave
She said ‘Be my photo bitch and I'll make you rich'
He didn't believe her but the boy revered her
He got her meals and he got her a bed
He watched behind the screen and she started to undress
He never got far
Just lookin' and playing guitar

Garfield Without Garfield

That is all.

#66 - If Something In The Deli Aisle Makes You Cry

...of course I'll put my arms around you and I'll walk you outside

I just lifted a line out of The Wire and put it, almost verbatim, into my women's studies paper. I don't think it counts as plagiarism though, because on The Wire they were talking about drug dealing and in my essay I am talking about sexual harassment.







A note to Anonymous: Kraft Spritzer, Balsamic Breeze

#65 - Oh, What A Day It Has Been

Guess what I just found out, you guys? I use the same salad dressing as George Clooney! And that is just the capper on a day full of exciting events:

-I got an extension on my women's studies essay (Yaaay!)
-I ate a pizza sub, which was good but it wasn't really toasted, and it had cross-ways onions
-I attended the nerdiest English class ever and:
-learned that the word "smog" was coined in 1904 by the head of London's Coal Smoke Abatement Association
-held a replica of Sting, the sword from the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings
-learned about Elvish divorce law ("elves, like geese, are meant to mate but once")
-pondered the dilemma of answering the question "Do you still beat your wife?". Doesn't matter if you say yes or no, you still come off looking like an abusive asshole.
-I had a three hour nap
-I watched The Hills

Today has been glorious, which is good because tomorrow is going to consist of:

-finishing my women's studies paper
-studying French
-cooking supper
-working on my English essay

#64 - I Don't Think I'll Ever Do That Again

I'll end up winning and I won't know why

You guys, I am totally an adult know. How do I know this? I know this because I just received a letter in the mail telling me that I have a pension fund. A pension fund. How exciting. It has fifty dollars and seven cents in it. Also, I sometimes say 'plug the meter' and I know what the word gauche means which, according to my friend Amy, means that I am actually an old man.

I don't think I've even indented a post before. Hmmmm.

Barack Obama

-sistible

#63 - LIST FRIDAY, Tiny Blue Flowers Edition

Things I Find Intriguing

• typewriters
• the personal lives of writers I admire
• rubber stamps
• heists and capers
• the Italian Renaissance
• songs in which the lyrics are full sentences*
  

PAUSE. I just sneezed and then felt very dizzy. How strange.

• other people's favorite quotations
• people with surprising voices
• the square-shoed (square-shod?) guy in my logic class
• words written in unexpected places

Things I Would Say To Some Of My Fellow Students If I Knew That They Would Get Amnesia Soon After The Conversation Took Place

• To the square-shoed/shod guy in my logic class: "Three things. 1) Are you gay? I think you probably are. 2) May I please borrow your notes? They are immaculate. 3) Why do you look so solemn all the time? When you laughed in class the other day (at a really terrible joke the prof made) I was so surprised I almost dropped my pencil."
• The the lady in my women's studies class with the really nice leather bag: "I really, really like your bag."
  
• To the guy in my logic class who I have secretly named Chuck: "The reason I call you Chuck is because you kind of look like a cross between Chuck Bass** and Chuck Klosterman***. This is unfortunate and I am sorry, but don't worry, the amnesia will set in soon and you will forget I ever said anything."

• To the guy in my English class with the awful haircut: "To be honest, I am a little flummoxed by the fact that you look like a complete hick yet have a seemingly encyclopedic knowledge of English literature. Also, I would like to give you some advice. If you absolutely must cut your own hair (which looks to be the case), next time find some scissors or something instead of using the electric knife that your father uses to carve roasts."
• To my French prof: "The pants you wore on Wednesday were much to tight. Much to tight."

*Both The Mountain Goats and The Hold Steady are good at this. See also the song Scattered Pearls by Casiotone for the Painfully Alone.

I Am Just Wondering...

Where the hell did this snow come from?! I stay inside for a few hours and the next time I look out the window everything is covered in white. This day is so depressing.


Note: This post is not numbered because boring posts that consist entirely of me complaining about the weather do not deserve to be numbered. Looking back at the archives neither, apparently, do posts about me having baked cookies, eating the last of said cookies, or wondering about the possible existence of an Arrested Development movie. Posts that I have honoured with numbers include: a question about toothpaste, an unfortunate logic joke, and one post whose sole purpose was to discuss the newest Mariah Carey video. Clearly, I have my priorities well in order.

#62 - Look Around, Look Around

the second drummer drowned

An (admittedly very late) List Friday is forthcoming, but I have an essay due tomorrow that I have hardly started and a family dinner tonight. I was really planning to do in on Friday this week, but I went out and played Sega instead and I do not regret that decision. Sega is awesome.

SEEEEEEE-GA

#61 - The One In The Red Shirt

Do you know who it is?

It Is 2 am,

I have a French test tomorrow, and I just ate the last cookie.

Sad pandas on so many levels.

#60 - This Is Just To Say

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold

-William Carlos Williams


I have not really been all that much for the sleeping lately, so I have been reading a lot of poetry from my English textbooks at, like, 3 o'clock in the morning. Here is a bonus list (because I was such a slacker this week) of some of my favorites.

• Helen of Troy Does Counter Dancing - Margaret Atwood ("My mother was raped by a holy swan. / You believe that?")
• Ozymandias - Percy Bysshe Shelley (He was married to Mary Shelley, who wrote Frankenstein, and after he died she kept his heart in a drawer for the rest of her life.)
• Meditations on the Declension of Beauty by the Girl with the Flying Cheek-bones - Marlene Nourbese Philip
• 288 - Emily Dickinson (I feel a special connection with Emily Dickinson because she had an avoidant personality, and that it what I would have too, if I had a personality disorder!)
• you fit into me - Margaret Atwood, which goes as follows:

you fit into me
like a hook into an eye

a fish hook
an open eye

Isn't that great? She is completely screwing with you! Margaret Atwood is hilarious in a creepy, creepy way.




On a completely unrelated, pretty inside-jokey note: Look at this thing!

#59 - LIST FRIDAY, Lazy Edition

First of all, cookie update: They are delicious.

Second of all, I would like to apologize for the lateness and also, in advance, for the lameness of this week's list.

Music I Have Been Listening To And Enjoying, Barry*

• Tim I Wish You Were Born A Girl - Of Montreal (I could make you spaghetti with tomato sauce / with just a dash of oregano / and a parsely stem. This song is so great)
  
• Elevator Love Letter - Stars
• Swimming Pool - Freezepop (so much less crazy than Freezepop usually is. Also, very long)
• Can I Get Get Get - Junior Senior
• Girlfriend in a Coma -Joshua Radin (this song is really repetitive and kind of boring and yet I cannot stop listening to it)
• We Run This - Missy Elliot (ever since I heard it at Kenzie's last weekend...)
• Chutes to Narrow - The Shins (the entire album, because it is such perfect winter-into-spring transition music)
• D.A.N.C.E. - Justice

*Spot the reference!

I Just Made Some Delicious, Delicious Cookies

There is a pound of chocolate and 6 Skor bars in here. Isn't that awesome?

#58 - I Am Mutually Exclusive...

... and collectively exhausted.

A logic pun! I am pretty pleased with myself.

#57 - Question:

Does eating an apple taste better after brushing your teeth with cinnamon flavoured toothpaste than with peppermint?

Discuss.

#56 - LIST FRIDAY, Rollercoaster Edition

I mean rollercoaster in an emotional sense, not a literal one. I am afraid of literal rollercoasters*. Basically everything having to do with school (except for English on Friday) was shitty this week, but everything else has been awesome.

Things That Were Awesome This Week

• Reading Questionable Content. Even though I do not think it is God's gift to web comics like pretty much everyone else I kno who reads it, it is still enjoyable. It is kind of like a web comic version of a CW dramedy, complete with traumatic event's in the characters pasts and gratuitous indie music references, only with more sexual innuendo. And I do love a good dramedy.
• The ending of Special Topics in Calamity Physics
• The new pen I got from Paper Umbrella
• The Josh Ritter show on Friday night!! It was like this:

Only with 50% more villainous mustache and 100% more dancing, disco, choreographed guitar playing and crazy people from

• My new clarinet. I can play middle C!
• Learning how to read Old English and then getting a really good mark on my Iliad essay. Incidentally, my English class now has 100% less outlandish mustache, but that is neither here nor there.
• Nicknames: Levity, Chicken Leg, Bibo (Bebo?) and... Breakdown??
• Dancing
• Watching Amanda drink whiskey
• Season 2 of the Wire
• New Bunny Day.
  
• The CD Matt made me that has a picture of an apple on it.
• Getting pictures developed, even though half of them failed miserably.
• Red pepper hummus w/ Sociables crackers.

*Literal rollercoasters? What the hell am I talking about?

I Will Do List Friday Tomorrow...

...because last night was Josh Ritter (awesome!) and tonight was vodka and dancing (also awesome!). Sunday is homework and list-writing day. Assuming I am not too hungover... because I am really feeling all that vodka right now.

P.S. If you have just gotten home from the bar: Girlfriend in a Coma by Joshua Radin is the perfect song to calm down your still-drunk self.

#55 - All I've Got...

...is a photograph

I just got a couple rolls of film developed, one of which is from Calgary almost a year ago.

#54 - The Clear Sign That YouTube Has Hit The Big Time:

being referenced in a Mariah Carey song, of course.

M.C. appears to be slutting it up even more than usual this time, but it is okay because it is for humour. Obviously it is supposed to be funny, Jack McBrayer is there!

#53 - I Fell In Love With Your Sound

Oh, I love to sing along with you

My friend (and faux-finacée) Amanda just posted a list of the top played songs on her iPod and we have the same number one song! Here are the most played songs on my computers:

Most Played on Lavinia the Macbook

• Dance Music - The Mountain Goats (57 plays)
  
• Tennessee Train Tracks - Rocky Votolato (55)
• Soft Rock Star (Jimmy vs. Joe Mix) - Metric (46)
• West Coast - Coconut Records (43)
• Crystalline Green - Goldfrapp (39)
• Rangers - A Fine Frenzy (36)
• Hast Thou Considered the Tetrapod - The Mountain Goats (32)
• Starbeat Academy Graduation March - Carbon Dating Service (30)
• Breathe Me - Sia (30)
• Dead Ends - Chad VanGaalen (27)

Most Played on the Nameless PC (my dad contributes to this also, but not much)

• Good Man - Josh Ritter (106)
• Anna Begins - The Counting Crows (84)
• I Feel It All - Feist (79)
• Hello, I'm In Delaware - City and Colour (74)
• July, July! - The Decemberists (68)
• This Woman's Work - Kate Bush (67)
• Hollywood Ending - Hayden (66)
• It's Not Going To Stop - Aimee Mann(64)
• I Wish That I Could See You Soon - Herman Dune (63)
• Wuthering Heights - Kate Bush (62)

note: Wonderwall by Ryan Adams should be on this, because I have two different files of that song and each one has been played 45 times making a total of 90, so it should be in second place and Wuthering Heights should be bumped to #11.

another note: I listened to This Woman's Work while typing this so now it and July, July! are tied for 5th place.

third and final note: Hollywood Ending and It's Not Going to Stop (not to mention Hello, I'm in Delaware) are both pretty much thanks to my dad. Everyone knows that my most played Hayden song (by a looooong shot) is Home by Saturday.

#52 - Raise Your Hopeful Voice...

...you have a choice

So I finally just watched Glen Hansard and Markéta Irglová accept their Academy Award and I was going to come on here and talk about how much I want to be like Markéta Irglová when I grow up when I found out that she is the same freaking age as me!


I hate it when people who are my age become wildly successful.

#51 - She's Not A Tramp...

...Her name is Judy

Confession: I kind of like the song Tattoo by Jordin (that's Jordin with an i) Sparks

Observation: Gummi bears purchased from health food stores always taste way better than regular ones.

#50 - LIST FRIDAY, Apologetic Edition

Sorry I skipped a week. Again. My L.F. related New Year's resolution seems to have fallen by the wayside, along with all the other resolutions. I have been nothing but a failure since January.

Some Things That Are Unfortunate

• The lyrics to pretty much every Nada Surf song ever (except when they do covers*)
• The possible cancellation of Friday Night Lights
• The fact that I am completely unprepared for the Women's Studies midterm I have on Monday
• The fact that is is still winter
• Having $35 in library fines
• The fact that I didn't buy any jeans or a new schoolbag this weekend
  

Some Things I Have Enjoyed This Week

• Special Topics in Calamity Physics by Marisha Pessl
  
• the fact that bear beat ape in the Zoo Animal Showdown
  
• Scattered Pearls by Casiotone for the Painfully Alone
• The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
• Going outside in a t-shirt and not freezing my ass off
• Watching Jacob deflect imaginary bullets with his bare hands
• Getting leather high top Chuck Taylors on sale for $15
  

Some Things That I Am Looking Forward To

• Going to the Warhol exhibit tomorrow
• Breakfast on Sunday
• Having a clean bedroom
• Getting caught up on all my school stuff
  
• Getting Midterms over with
• Josh Ritter next weekend!
• Springtime! (and summertime! after that)

*see "If You Leave" from the episode of the O.C. where Anna leaves. Oh my gosh, I love it so much. Maybe you should watch it.



If you are not a little choked up right now you have no soul. Just so you know.

List Friday is Postponed...

... so I can pack for my trip to Calgary tomorrow and recuperate from yesterday's trip to essay writing hell.

When a young man dies in war,
lying there murdered by sharp bronze, that's all right.
Though dead, he shows us his nobility.
But when the dogs disfigure shamefully
an old man, chewing his gray head, his beard,
his sexual organs, that's the saddest thing
we wretched mortals see.

-Homer's Iliad, XXII.90-96


Thank God that's over.

La La La La La

The writer's strike is o-ver.

#49, LIST FRIDAY, SUPER (and only slightly late!) EDITION

You know it really is gonna be super because I put it in all caps.

I feel bad for skipping out on L.F.* last week, I was house-sitting and had no wireless. Apparently I am now such a spoiled brat that I cannot be bothered to sit in an actual chair in front of a desk and write something. Also, I am reasonably sure that I went out last Friday night, but I cannot for the life of me remember where. Wait! I remember. I went to see Polymaths and Rah Rah at the Exchange. Haha! See? I didn't do a list because I was having an actual life! Kind of. I suppose one could say that technically I went to that show with my dad, but whatever.

ANYWAY, I feel bad, so I am going to do EXTRA lists this week.

The Places I Have Lived

• The Lemberg House (April, 1988-August, 2001). My favorite house that I have lived in. Most of the time I lived there my bedroom did not have a door (in fact, it only had three walls), there was a unicorn sticker on the window, there was writing on the walls in the backroom.
• The Athol St. house (August 2001-January 2002). My least favorite house that I have lived in. There was an unblanaced roommate, a dog named Kokanee and a claw-foot tub. It was only a block away from my school.
  
• The Garnet St. house (January 2002-December 2004). Very cute children everywhere, lots of babysitting to be done in houses that had satellite TV when I had nothing. The first house in Regina that I really unpacked in (in fact, I distinctly remember unpacking while listening to the No Doubt album Rock Steady). My best friend in the city lived across the alley. Also, this house was in walking distance of a movie theatre with the best Coke ever, which is now closed. I saw Blue Crush, X2 and at least one of the Lord of the Rings movies there.
• The Montague St. house (December 2004-November 2006). Across the street from my aunt and uncle (very sitcom-ish). Sometimes we put a futon on the stairs and used them as a slide. I had a lot of stuff on my bedroom walls.
• The Princess St. house (November 2006-January 2007). I was only here briefly the first time around. There was Winnie the Pooh wallpaper in my bedroom.
  
• Kate's house in Calgary (January 2007-April 2007). Very cute nephews. I read a lot. I had very excellent naps living here, my mattress was wonderful. The only avenue I have ever lived on.
• The Princess St. house again (April 2007-present). Winnie the Pooh is gone now, my walls are green. My room is very tiny and always a disaster. A very conveniently located house a far as libraries, bus stops and cabbage rolls are concerned.

My Favorite Things of the Past Two Weeks

• Favorite book: The Sweet Far Thing (which made me cry a lot.)
  
• Favorite headline: Super Tuesday? Super Stalemate.
  
• Favorite food: Chicken fingers.
  
• Favorite beverage: Orange juice and soda water... with a little bit of pineapple juice. Oh my gosh it is so delicious.
  
• Favorite TV show: Tie! The Wire and Robin Hood (the BBC version)**
  
• Favorite website: Goodreads

Word I Have Heard Strange Pronunciations of Recently

• Wizened (said like "wise" instead of like "wiz", which is ridiculous because everyone knows that this word is meant to describe one who has become like a wizard)
• Clandestine (said as if it were the name of a country in the Middle East, like "Bush wants to invade Clandestine.")
• Penchant (said with the French pronunciation, in my English class, by the prof)
  

In conclusion: Here is a picture of me last week when I didn't have a headband to hold my hair back while I washed my face, so I had to use dental floss which was both very effective and pleasantly curly.






*Abbreviations are fun!

**They are not entirely dissimilar actually. McNulty (that's McNulty, Kenzie, not McNutly) and Robin are both sort of roguish, charming, rule-breakers-for-the-greater-good-types.

Oh My Gosh...

...do you think it will happen?

#48 - LIST FRIDAY, New Edition

Places To Go On The Internet When You Don't Want To Read The Iliad

• Facebook (the ultimate time waster)
  
• Epicurious
• quarterlife
• Surf the Channel/Sidereel/Alluc
• Megan McCafferty
  
• Television Without Pity
• Go Fug Yourself (I am extremely shallow. And Lindsay Lohan has not worn pants since 2005)
• Fitz
  

#48 - All Impressed

...and half undressed

Tattooed Love Boys by the Pretenders is my favorite song to play on Guitar Hero at Jamie's house. That and Heart Shaped Box.

Anyway, the real reason I am posting is that I am rejoicing in my little YA fangirl heart because I just went to the library and three (3) of my holds were there: Love is a Many Trousered Thing, Naomi and Ely's No Kiss List and THE SWEET FAR THING(!!!!!). Georgia! Dave the Laugh! Kartik! Oh man I am so excited. I school work is going to suffer even more than it is already, which is kind of saying something because I haven't really done ANYTHING since the semester started.

In other news pertaining to me being a huge nerd: Did you know that Rachel Cohn is friends with Jaclyn Moriarty? I realize that most of you will probably have no reaction to this news whatsoever, but for me it is very jealous-making. I mean, why am I not friends with Jaclyn Moriarty? Why? WHY?

You Should...

...watch this movie


That is all.

#47 - LIST FRIDAY, Friday Edition

"'Tis bitter cold/And I am sick at heart."

That is probably my favorite quote from all of Hamlet, and Hamlet has a lot of excellent quotes in it (what with, you know, it being Hamlet and all.) Shakespeare, man. Guy's a pro.

Anyway, it is bitter cold, and I am sick (more in head than at heart, but my sore throat has progressed to a full-on head cold) but I kind of don't mind this because it is the weekend and it is nice to have an excuse to stay home under many layers of clothing and blankets.

Things To Do On A Friday Night When You Are Sick

• Finish watching the final season of Arrested Development, watch the special feature where Will Arnett gets kind of teary eyed, get kind of teary eyed
• Play 6 Degrees of Seperation between yourself and Will Arnett, do it in three (cheat using IMDB)
• Consider baking cookies, hoping the oven will warm up the house, discard this idea because you will probably contaminate all the cookies with sneezing
• Watch Alpha Dog, but fast-forward through all the unpleasant parts (pretty much the entire movie), fill with wonderment at the realization that, even though there is all kinds of violence and ickyness in that movie, Emile Hirsch's facial hair is the hardest thing to look at in the whole thing
  

...I just fell asleep with my laptop on top of me. I am going to go now. More later.

#46 - Maybe We Don't Want To Be Found

...maybe we don't want you tracking us down

That title has nothing to do with what I am about to talk about, but I am kind of nuts about that song right now. Actually, the song as a whole is kind of mediocre but the chorus playing on repeat in my brain.

ANYWAY, what this is really about is that I just watched Juno illegally on the internet and there were two (2) strange coincidences in it.

1. I do this thing where I call my best friend about 12 different nickname variations and a lot of them have the initials L.B. (they all come from the longest form of her name, Luanna Banana) and I was thinking that, in the interest of saving time, I should maybe add L.B. to the list except that it reminds me of liquor board stores so I can't and... I have forgotten where I am going with this. Wait! I remember! So I was thinking of calling a person L.B. and how probably that would be a totally plausible thing to call someone in a place with privatized liquor retailing and I wondered if there are any fictional characters named that and then, literally less than 36 hours later, I watched Juno and there WAS!

2. When I was in grade nine I used to walk home from school with my friend Campbell and for some reason I used to get kind of crazy and theatrical and sometimes I would sing songs really loudly outside my house while Campbell looked on, embarrassed and trying to leave. Anyway, my favorite song to sing in these circumstances was I'm Sticking With You, which is the only Velvet Underground song I can even name, let alone sing from beginning to end, and for some reason I was reminded of the a few days ago (weeks, maybe? Does anyone happen to remember?) and I started singing it (I am always in public when I do these things. Why?) and then , mere days (or possibly weeks) later, there it was smack dab in the middle of Juno.

Strange, no?

I have to say, even though it was almost too clever (even the craft services company on that movie had a cute name: T.V. Dinners, good grief), and I kind of wanted to not like it (because I am just contrary like that sometimes, have you noticed?), I couldn't. I couldn't not like it. I was totally suckered by the whole wise-cracking-teenager-hamburger-phone-indie-music shebang. Also, it reminded me how much I: a) want to be Allison Janney when I grow up, and b) love orange Tic-Tacs.

Long, rambling post brought to you by: the fact that it is 2 o'clock in the morning. I am even procrastinating sleep now.


P.S. Thoughts on the new colours? I am to bored to go back to green.

#45 - LIST FRIDAY, Back on Track Edition

Jeez, I take a few weeks off over the holidays and suddenly I am taking shit from all sides. That is actually kind of nice, I guess. Guess what I got for Christmas from Lua B? A list book, that is what. So now, when I am all tired a grumpy and idea-less I have a fall back. It kind of feels like cheating though, so I will try not to use it TOO much.

I decided it wasn't to late for New Years resolutions, so here they are:

New Years Resolutions For The Year Beginning January 1st 2008

• Do not watch TV or movies (unless I go out to a movie) on Saturdays
• Get an A in French 101
• Keep my room clean(er)
• Cook more, and healthier
• Post List Fridays on time, and do more non-list posts

And, just for fun, the first list in my Listography book:

The Pets I Have Had, And Their Names

• Maude (cat), died tragically by falling out of a tree when I was... 4 or 5 maybe?
• Piglet (cat), actually belonged to my sister, who has a history of naming her pets after other animals
• Annie (budgie), got a bird-cough and died
• Reepicheep (hamster), cute, soft, possibly suicidal, lived in a cage that hung from the ceiling
  

It Is Friday...

... and I will be back to regularly scheduled programming post-stat. A new list tomorrow, I promise. Right now I am going to bed.

Happy New Year!

I am in Edmonton family-ing it up but I will be back to regularly scheduled blogging soon. Is it too late for me to make a New Years resolution? If it's not then what should it be?