... but he didn't so he died.
Two things:
1. Jarrett Grode (who played Perry in Undeclared and is now a pretty funny stand-up comic) apparently wrote this, which I found via the TSOYA blog. It is strangely enthralling, though probably more so if your only other option is memorizing French verbs.
2. I am thoroughly enjoying The Hold Steady right now. Even if you hate them you should watch this video for the keyboardists awesome dancing, especially about 51 seconds in.
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Its also strangely enthralling if your other option is studying for acct systems. And a side note on the dancing keyboard player...he looks like he usually plays with Metallica and its his alter ego who plays keyboard and dances all quirky like.
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